The Greatest Movie Never Made

The couple in the restaurant, the bloke leaning at the bar, the girl walking along the street; they are all now accompanied with the obligatory head-down-tap-tap-tap. Each mobile device is a news ticker for the owner’s social circle. Yet isn’t it ironic that these social media devices have actually made us less sociable, to the point of being very accomplished at ignorance. Our (deteriorating) social skills are not an inherent given and the current cartoon looking ‘younger’ generation are heading down a tunnel. The so called ‘friends’, ‘connections’ and heaven forbid ‘likes’ are as superficial and divisive as the technology that is used to fake them. The only thing FaceBook has proven is how stupid we are as a species. We are addicted to text messages and tweets. Another one is another fix. We want a new ‘friend’, a new phone, a new nose, a new internet shag. We want fame yet we have no talent nor audience to appreciate the lack of talent. The TV is still king. The TV complex created a pyramid hierarchy, ascending from audience up to movie star. We liked that and aspired to it. Then the internet came along, and it was claimed, would de-construct all of this, so everyone would have the ‘opportunity’ to be the movie star. The ultimate democracy you would think. However, this is Santa Claus for adults. Democracies are illusions. We are battery hens to the governments and suppliers, who sell us back our own faeces with opaque terms and conditions that swindle us to hell and beyond. What the internet has done is provide us with a short cut to an audience. One of the best methods of achieving this is via the shock tactic. Shocking isn’t necessarily good however, it is more likely to be immoral, illegal or plain distasteful. ISIS are currently the most successful but evil examples of this. Rarely is shocking sustainable and one has to accept diminishing returns when using this method. Even beheading may eventually fail to achieve its objective. At some point the shock fails to shock and desired response from the recipient is not achieved. Then, ironically, the shock could be in the response rather than the execution. Goals posts are never fixed on the internet. We have lost the organic essence of society. We are self contained, concealed in a coma of ‘social’ cling film. We have managed to disappear up our own backsides and are happy paying to do so. Six degrees of separation? At least numbers three to six have little or no value or meaning, if this social dynamic actually exists at all. It is more likely we are separated by two decades of self-indulgent, debased, voyeuristic internet pap. A book never loses it connection with the reader but disposable web pages do. You’ll never be incompatible with a book shelf but try finding or reading your emails from over a decade ago. We have little patience for anything and little mental or cultural stamina either. The two issues are inextricably linked. We do Pot Noodle style media guzzling. We guzzle everything to the point of either boredom, passing out or vomitting, whether it’s a night out, killing via computer games or the banking system. Binge until the lights go out or you are caught. And even then it doesn’t stop, like the multiplication of bacteria, it just goes on and on. The law is a facade to pacify the public. Once the world is aware of the crime, said crime is relocated off stage or off shore so-to-speak, going underground or over seas. I’m sure the world is revolving at a faster and faster speed and at some point we will, one by one, start to fly off the earth’s surface and into space. Perhaps this is most suitable method of living on another planet or more likely ending the human race. If alien beings are intelligent enough to find us, then they’ll either put us out of our misery or cherry pick Lionel Messi, the Stella Artois Brewery and hopefully, Gwyneth Paltrow and then fuck off. Companies are trying to see into our organs and translate into future shopping sales. We are tatooing ourselves in oblivion. If this is progress, then it is a most disturbing progress. Stepping off this bizarre carousel and watching from aside, one could witness the greatest movie never made. Furthermore, filming it with one’s mobile is a guaranteed method of ensuring no one will ever see it amongst the squillions of self-made forgettables. To stand any chance nowadays, you’ll need to be a black fascist bi-polar transvestite circus dwarf married to a cloned member of the Royal family and even then you’ll most likely fail.

15 minutes of fame is now 15 minutes before you’re forgotten.